just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
and she was petting her beer can
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
