This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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