i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
