Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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