dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have fence marks all over my body
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
