You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
