Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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