He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
