Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
