are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
