His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
