I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
