How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
