Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
