There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
