if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
