where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
