Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
