You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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