how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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