I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
