Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
