Just mADE A PArabola og urine
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
