Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
