She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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