I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
