we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just gargled with NyQuil
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
