I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
