# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
