my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
