She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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