It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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