Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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