Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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