their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
tell your sister to shave her snatch
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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