she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
