he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize