she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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