I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
