We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So vagazzling was a success
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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