dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
