I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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