My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
