Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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