so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
