Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We need to get me chipped asap
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
