The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
