Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
