eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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