I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
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