how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
