What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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