Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
