Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
