Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
