btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
